Dear Karen - 'My Mum's Boyfriend Makes My Skin Crawl"
This might seem like a silly question to ask but I wanted to know your thoughts, as well as your follower's thoughts.
My parents separated a few years ago after what seemed like an eternity of not getting on and my sister and I were really ok about the separation and they both seem happier as a result.
As far as I know my dad hasn't started dating again but my mum is seeing this new guy who just makes my skin crawl. I don't think he means anything by it in fact I think he's just a being over-enthusiastic but he's just a bit full on and no one I want to spend time with.
Mum has asked that my boyfriend and I join them on a trip up north and I really don't want to go. I don't like him and I don't like how my mum is round him either.
I'm not going to go on the trip but do I tell her the truth for the reason why or do I make up some excuse?
Hi, thanks for your message! What a tricky situation.
It's so hard when you have to spend time around someone you don't particularly like and worse when it's family because here's pressure there to make an effort and play nice.
I think I'd do the same and pass on the trip ... being in a confined space with them doesn't sound like it would be conducive to a good time. As a one off I'd maybe make up a bit of an excuse to avoid hurting your mum's feelings and maybe suggest doing a girl's trip with your mum and your sister as an alternative. That way she still gets time with you ... just without the boyfriend.
That said, honesty is the best policy and all that so over time, it may be that you have to say something if things don't improve and it starts to be noticed that you're avoiding spending time with them.
It's so tricky and I genuinely feel for you but I think I'd be playing this out one invitation at a time for now... you never know, they may split up before you have to come clean!
I'm not sure if that's helpful but I think that's what I would do.